Waiting for the other shoe to drop.... that describes the worst feeling to me.
It means something awful and painful has already happened, and you are fairly certain it will happen again. Or worse.
I know it is a pessimistic view and in general I try to be positive (evidence on this blog notwithstanding)
but once you have been hurt.... how can you not fear it's happening again? When someone breaks the fragile part of yourself that you don't share to just anyone, the part you make them earn, how can you believe that they won't do it again? Sure you may say that you do, but isn't there a voice somewhere saying, "don't be naive, the other shoe is going to drop and you better be prepared for it so it doesn't hurt as much when it happens again"
I have that voice.
Have always had it.
Many days I can forget it- in some aspects of my life, I never hear it anymore.... but in the ones that really cut to the quick... the voice is ever present.
And knowing it's there, not knowing how to quiet it, not knowing if you should listen to it, not wanting to know what it means to your life if you do, THAT is the worst feeling....
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